spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Randomize
