11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
