I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
