my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
