i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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