Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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