remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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