He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
