This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
