Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
