is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize