I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
