Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
