HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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