I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
