It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
