Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
