have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize