You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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