Kiss
Puke
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
