Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
