You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
The power of my boobs compel you
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize