I'm gonna have a badass scar
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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