Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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