I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
