btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
