you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize