the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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