dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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