And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
