Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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