im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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