god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
