she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
