remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
