I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize