Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
