Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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