I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
