I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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