i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you would pick up someone in the library
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
This is my gift to your gina
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
