By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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