I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
