i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I won't apologize to a one balled man
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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