The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
