So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
