Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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