This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
