Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Randomize
