Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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