I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
