Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I could fuck to npr.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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