Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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