dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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