i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize