tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
