I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize