we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
