he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
where does the pee come out of this thing
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
