On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
